WAR~

today..i face another challenge...
i met a class that being pampered too much by their form teacher..
i am not saying that their teacher is wrong..maybe it's juz our way of teaching is different..
i cant deny that she's a good teacher..caring..passionate..we are quite fren after all..coz we share the same class..5D which was the last class(that made me vomit blood)..
as wat she told me, she had spent one year time to know all d characters of her students..and use one year time to conquering their hearts..
this was her principes... start conquering student's heart first be4 wanting them to do their responsibilities..such as doing their homework..

for me..i was a traditional person..did well, i will praise; do wrongly, i will punish..if u want me to care more..i definitely will require u to complete ur responsibilities 1st such as..finish ur homework...
the funny thing is..i discover that my stand was completely contrary wif hers..

on Monday(the day i post that self improvement blog )..i scolded them..badly i admit..maybe i was so dissapointed wif their act..till speak up something too strongly...i said..if u all still wan keep up wif tis kind of attitude..u all will end up being "rubbish"...sincerely i juz wan to wake them up..i have told them how many times ...i won give up teaching them,as long as they wan to study..i even offer free tuition after school..teaching them homeworks...guidelines..

but..maybe they was shocked by wat i said that day..or maybe i make them feel tat i am scolding them rubbish!!! my god..i really din mean tat at all..

today which i tot will be a good day..suddenly turn cloudy..when i heard from their form teacher..tat they complain about me..saying tat i scold them "rubbish"..

i nearly heart attack...when i heard tat..my heart was so pain after i did so much of hard work..paying so much of effort..juz for their class..not other class..

there's a chinese saying..when u hope bigger, u will be more dissapointed...i completely experience this sayings..

u know what they say to their form teacher? "teacher, i know we are wrong for not completing our homework, but it;s too much if she(me) scold us rubbish!my parents also never scold me like this"...-.-..anger,dissapointment...and much more feelings appeared after i listened to this STATEMENT..

WHAT HAVE I DONE????? did i scold them rubbish???i never mean it at all..
but this is still d beginning...u know wat their form teacher told me?
their chinese understanding was so poor that they cant interpret well of wat u talking..she(form teacher) used to tell SOFT words to them..even when they do wrong...she will call one by one...and praise them 1st be4 scolding..use SOFT stategy is her best way of teaching..

conclusion???tat teacher suggest me to APLOGIZE...to d class,,becoz..the teacher say, she used to teach them..when they do wrong, they muz admit and apologize..this rules same goes to TEACHER=me.....

hahaha...i was so miserable at tat moment...did i wrong? i apologize??? y ler??
i know i am a temporary teacher..(but..if i were d form teacher...i will ask my student..be4 u complain, PLZ ask urself did u do wrong?? will d teacher scold u on purpose?y not u all try to finish ur homework and c what will d teacher say?...)

however, maybe this is juz d way i comfort myself..i am still me..yijuin that still need to solve this problems...

maybe i can blame the students..maybe i can blame d form teacher that made those students used to be pampared..but no matter who i blame...the problem will be worsen..

today..i spent d whole day thinking what shud i do...APOLOGIZE?
STICK TO MY VERY OWN PRINCIPES?
CONTINUE BLAMING?
or else?

this was a very hard day for me and tough decision for me to made...after talking and seeking advice from my few frenz..(actually juz complaining)..i still feel helpless..
FINALLY come till d end of d day..which i cant run away anymore...i decided to do something which i think may result in something...but this result..maybe EXTREMELY DIFFERENT..the effect juz either will be very good or VERY BAD...

i dun wan to say anything bout tat here today...juz wan to do it myself, my way..since i know myself so long, knowing that i may be influenced by any external factor..i juz DECIDE to DO IT MYSelf..it's simply a war between me and the students...which i hope we both gain benefits at d end...

i am so sorry ,my fren...i have no other place to express my feelings but juz here..where we share our problems, i am juz actually typing out all d problems and feelings that i am facing and bothering my mind...juz hope to write it out and make it clearer for myself...i apologize if i bored u all..let's c wat can i do to overcome this challenge MYSELF..i am 19 going to be 20..it's time to be independant...

hope tat our 38 spirit will help me in my tomorrow's war..frenz..hope tat i would bring u all good news^^..
anyway, i'd like to stop here..
nite..again..sweet dreams..

a girl that hoping and trying to be a good teacher
YJ~